Whenever I feel happy again I fear it will end.
Left alone: the wolves, the wolves.
The world pivots on dreams, and dreams are scattered specs of desire that once held form.
When one day the world crumbles, I will save its name, keep it in a bundle and hold it up for fame.
If one day the world shall crumble, I will too obey, do everything I could, but still die with it, someway.
I wish I were a serpent, a smiley sneaky thing, moving towards dreaming, and spit all mine to it.
And then the world won’t crumble, because my dreams would stay, removed from me with passion, to hold up the home we made. Insert notes. Insert notes. Insert notes.
This is the point where life drops me off and calls it a day,
And the hurt crashes into me so hard that it tears my clothes off of my back,
My scabs off of my wounds.
I’m left standing in the cold,
Feeling nothing but the sharp wind spiking at my bareness.
I look back at the world and see myself; I look inwards and see nothing.
Shuffled around like a crap hand –
they liked using me on the rookies.
This isn’t a poem. It isn’t a story –
It’s just an observation,
that some behaviors can’t be explained,
some emotions can’t be categorized.
*
I was a violent shit, head lost in self hatred.
I guess that was God’s joke on us both.
I wish I could swing between moments,
Glide through life’s rages, whisper ‘don’t hurt me’ to my lovers.
I would try to catch Moment’s harrowed beauty as I swung by,
Letting it twine through my fingers, watch it escape them like stray hairs moving with the wind.
I would let my sisters tell their story,
A second later, recall their last line.
I would listen to my parents –
Skip past their white silk lies.
But the thing I’d really wish for,
If I really swung through time,
Is that moment before sadness,
When the sun promises it’s shine.
I knew it wouldn’t be long –
But why now?
Couldn’t you just give me this moment?
YOU’RE TEARING ME UP INSIDE
YOU’RE TEARING ME UP INSIDE
You're all wet and gooey, like a sponge cake soaked with toffee.
I sometimes cry when i remember how beautiful you are.
Filthy to the bone and so much more.
I want you to fill me, slice me through and through.
I’m a skinny piece of soil, wanting to drown you.
Kiss me through the grape vine, fucker, then I’ll join you.